Being Hospitable

“So seek me no in far-off places.

I am close at hand.

Your workbench, office, kitchen.

These are your altars

where you offer love.

And I am with you there.” – Clarence Enzler

Hospitality is one of the virtues we see expounded on in Celtic lore over and over.  Offering our homes to travelers, sharing our food, aiding our neighbors…all are very typical and practically expected.  Part of being honorable and “saving face” is in being hospitable to those who cross our paths. 

If you look back to ancient times, we lived in rural settings with no communication to the outside world except from those who came to visit, or if we were to travel.  There were no telephones, no internet…you couldn’t just log on to your laptop and talk to your friends.  Travel was hard…walking or by horse, no automobiles or airplanes.  So visitors were a not so frequent, yet welcomed occurrence.  It was the decent thing to do to offer them a warm bed, food for their belly, and in whatever else they might need for comfort.  Just as it would be reasonable to expect the same in return if your were the visitor.  “Trí fuiric thige degduni: cuirm, fothrucud, tene mór. Three preparations of a good man’s house: ale, a bath, a large fire.”  This was no different when our ancestors came to the Appalachians.  They lived much as they did in their homeland.  This virtue of hospitality has been instilled in many, many of us today.  If you stop by my house you will be greeted with a cup of coffee or tea and invited to partake of any meal I am cooking.  One of my favorite times is stopping by to visit my friend, RJ, who always has a drink ready and some lovely meal constantly on hand to share with guests. 

Hospitality works both ways.  As there are expectations of the host, there are expectations of the guest, as well.  You do not go into someone’s home and mistreat them or their family, nor do you overstep the bounds of graciousness.  There is a point where the line between being hospitable and being a doormat gets blurred.  I have struggled myself over the years with learning how to enforce that line.  Being hospitable does not mean having to allow someone to disrespect you or your home. “Trí rudaí nach ba chóir aoi a thabhairt chuig teach eile: tidings tinn; ceadúnas presumptuous; agus feall. Three things a guest should never bring to another's house: ill tidings; presumptuous license; and treachery.” I do feel that there are times when we forget that in the process of trying to be honorable.  Setting boundaries is not being selfish, it is being self-preserving. 

When I look at the quote at the beginning of this blog, it reminds me that hospitality is a virtue that we should incorporate, not only with the people we deal with in our lives, but our deities, ancestors, and spirits in general.  Make your home, and your heart, a warm and inviting place for all to want to come.  Be welcoming to those who wish to visit.  Treat those who come with respect and graciousness, and expect the same in return.