Soaps by Jan

Being always allergic to most cosmetics and all commercial soaps, Jan Humphreys needed to find an alternative.  Many soaps from specialty shops claiming to be "all natural" still contain fragrance which is artificial and can draw whelps and induce headaches. After much study, Jan made her first batch of soap, which was intended for her and her family.  She really liked this craft and within days had made enough soap to supply a market.  She began going to fairs, craft shows, and festivals with her wares.  What started as one batch for her family grew into a cottage industry. 

Soaps by Jan has been vending up and down the east coast at pagan festivals and such for over a decade.  They are a major vendor at the Starwood Festival and all other fests held at Wisteria (www.wisteria.org)  Please take a moment to check out her website and see the wonderful items she has for sale!  http://www.soapsbyjan.com/    

Courage

Being courageous is not about having a blind disregard for danger, which is a trait Aristotle often mentions when speaking of the Celts.  (That one always kind of ticked me off)  Being courageous is “standing-strong-in-the-face-of-adversity, alone or with companions. Sometimes Courage is getting up and going about a daily routine when pain has worn one down without complaint or demur."—Daven   I find that to be a much better description, at least in relation to myself.  I receive comments almost daily on how courageous I am for the facing the things I have….the cancer, the heart attack, etc... , and I appreciate those, I do.  However, those are not the times I feel I have been courageous. 

What IS courageous, however (and this is some self-appreciation here) is getting up each day and making the conscious choice to NOT give in to the darkness that hounds me and to NOT use in an effort to be rid of it.  By now most of us have heard the news of the actor/comedian, Robin Williams, committing suicide.  The man took a rope and hung himself. (Talk about maladaptive behavior…Maladaptive behavior is a type of behavior that is often used to reduce one's anxiety, but the result is dysfunctional and non-productive.)  I mention Robin Williams, not because I enjoyed his work, but because his death, and form of, opens many doors in discussion regarding depression and addiction.  Those two pretty much go hand-n-hand, forming a very twisted dance for many of us. 

For me, depression began at a very early age.  When I sit back and review my life in detail, I see the signs of the onset beginning approximately when my parents split up…at about age 8.  Not very long after, I began my addictions.  I started drinking at a very young age, then slowly moving into much harder drugs.  That was my maladaptive way of coping with the depression.  It continued throughout the rest of my teens, and into my twenties.  I stopped using January 8^th, 1989, yet I found other “maladaptive” ways to handle my depression.   But I never took that final step…what I refer to as the coward’s way out.  (If I offend you, too bad.  I personally find suicide to be the ultimate act of self-absorption.  )

Depression is a never ending companion of mine.  Over the years I have learned healthier ways of dealing with it as it comes around.  I can ‘feel” the onset, truly.  It is a physical process when it hits, like a very heavy blanket covering my body.  I then retreat….go into my own little space, seek solitude, and work myself thru it.  I face it head on.  I have had many over the years tell me that I should not do that, that I need to get out amongst people, “it’s not healthy to be alone in that state”, etc.  Bullshit.  At least for me.  What would be unhealthy is to force myself out into the world and put on a false front…to do that would require me to numb myself to what I am feeling, and that would require the use of something chemical, be it alcohol or whatever, and then the addiction / depression dance begins again. 

My point to all of this is that when you know someone is dealing with depression, the best way to help is not only to talk to them, but to listen.  Listen to what they have to say about how they feel and how they handle this.  Sometimes just knowing there is someone out there willing to listen, whether that is ever utilized or not, just knowing it is available is enough to get one through.  Everyone is different; there are no cookie-cutter answers on how to deal with this condition. 

Just like the quote by Daven at the beginning of this blog, St Thomas Aquinas states that those with courage will also have a considerable degree of endurance. For one must be able to “stand immovable in the midst of dangers,” especially those dangers that threaten bodily harm and death (ST IIaIIae 123.6).  I know some find it ironic that I tend to like much of what Aquinas has to say, but I do.  Endurance…that is my act of courageousness.  

Being Hospitable

“So seek me no in far-off places.

I am close at hand.

Your workbench, office, kitchen.

These are your altars

where you offer love.

And I am with you there.” – Clarence Enzler

Hospitality is one of the virtues we see expounded on in Celtic lore over and over.  Offering our homes to travelers, sharing our food, aiding our neighbors…all are very typical and practically expected.  Part of being honorable and “saving face” is in being hospitable to those who cross our paths. 

If you look back to ancient times, we lived in rural settings with no communication to the outside world except from those who came to visit, or if we were to travel.  There were no telephones, no internet…you couldn’t just log on to your laptop and talk to your friends.  Travel was hard…walking or by horse, no automobiles or airplanes.  So visitors were a not so frequent, yet welcomed occurrence.  It was the decent thing to do to offer them a warm bed, food for their belly, and in whatever else they might need for comfort.  Just as it would be reasonable to expect the same in return if your were the visitor.  “Trí fuiric thige degduni: cuirm, fothrucud, tene mór. Three preparations of a good man’s house: ale, a bath, a large fire.”  This was no different when our ancestors came to the Appalachians.  They lived much as they did in their homeland.  This virtue of hospitality has been instilled in many, many of us today.  If you stop by my house you will be greeted with a cup of coffee or tea and invited to partake of any meal I am cooking.  One of my favorite times is stopping by to visit my friend, RJ, who always has a drink ready and some lovely meal constantly on hand to share with guests. 

Hospitality works both ways.  As there are expectations of the host, there are expectations of the guest, as well.  You do not go into someone’s home and mistreat them or their family, nor do you overstep the bounds of graciousness.  There is a point where the line between being hospitable and being a doormat gets blurred.  I have struggled myself over the years with learning how to enforce that line.  Being hospitable does not mean having to allow someone to disrespect you or your home. “Trí rudaí nach ba chóir aoi a thabhairt chuig teach eile: tidings tinn; ceadúnas presumptuous; agus feall. Three things a guest should never bring to another's house: ill tidings; presumptuous license; and treachery.” I do feel that there are times when we forget that in the process of trying to be honorable.  Setting boundaries is not being selfish, it is being self-preserving. 

When I look at the quote at the beginning of this blog, it reminds me that hospitality is a virtue that we should incorporate, not only with the people we deal with in our lives, but our deities, ancestors, and spirits in general.  Make your home, and your heart, a warm and inviting place for all to want to come.  Be welcoming to those who wish to visit.  Treat those who come with respect and graciousness, and expect the same in return.  

Spirit

After various discussions today in some online CR groups, I decided perhaps I should explain my personal views on spirit...ancestors and deities.  Let me first explain that I view my deities, specifically the Tuatha de Danann, as my ancestors.  I believe I am descended from them, not created by them.   Does that mean that I feel I am a direct bloodline descendant?  No, not necessarily, or at least not that I can prove.  Perhaps one day I might, given the time and money, and through some genetic testing like with The Nolan DNA Project (http://www.worldfamilies.net/surnames/nolan).  Apparently one can trace their lineage by the Y-chromosome.  I feel I am descended from them through various lifetimes.  Yes, I do believe we have several. 

Consider this: we are all giant blobs of energy.  Millions upon millions of electrons spinning around millions upon millions of nuclei.  The law of conservation of energy states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it merely changes forms.  So if we cannot be destroyed, then where do we go?  I personally do not think we leave.  We have changed form, existing side by side with those of us who have not changed yet.  This explains the “veil” discussed in so much lore.  The theory is that the veil thins at Samhain, and the spirits are able to cross between the worlds easier.  Personally, I feel they cross back and forth as freely as they want, when they want.  In Christian theology, in the Gospel of Thomas, saying 113 I believe, Jesus himself says “The kingdom of heaven is spread out on the earth; you just fail to see it with your eyes.” Or something like that.  Even Jesus knew that we don’t go off to some heaven in the sky….we stay right here and co-exist. 

With all of that said, I feel confident on my belief that I am descended from my deities.  I may not be able to prove it by blood, I have all the proof I need in their words and actions to me.  I have developed a personal relationship with several in my pantheon, the TDD, as I have with various ancestors.  Again, when I speak of ancestors these are not just blood relations, but ancestors of the spirit as well.  So, yes, I speak to dead people.  *grin* Do they answer back?  Not in the normal way of speaking, usually, though it HAS happened.  When I had my diabetic scare last year, I heard my father’s voice just as loud as if he were sitting next to me, telling me to check my blood sugar.  It was 473. 

This may explain a little as to why I do certain things like I do.  I generally do not do ritual. At least not for myself.  In a group setting, I believe rituals are a wonderful way to focus the combined energies and complete whatever task is set out.  On a personal level, I do not feel the need to.  I work on a daily basis with a select few deities and ancestors, and I feel free to communicate with them as I do my neighbor and old friend.  My morning devotionals are on my front porch, coffee in hand, listening to the sounds around me then just talking to whoever I feel is there.  Yes, it makes me look crazy…this is nothing new.  I used to “talk to god” when I was a little girl, instead of praying like I was taught.  I do the same now.  Now mind you, I am not advocating disrespect or anything of the like towards the deities and/or ancestors.  The Morrighan has no problem letting someone know She has been disrespected, and thank the gods it has not been me.  I do look at Her though, as a trusted adviser, a loyal ally and one whom I can speak with freely.  It is the same with all others.

When you view spirit, be it ancestral or deity, as being just like you…energy, but in a different form...dealing with them takes on a whole different meaning.  It becomes less mysterious and more comforting actually.  You start to realize that you are never truly alone, so many walk beside you every day.  Knowing that can be of great comfort to many.  Learn to quiet your mind and just listen…you can actually hear the footsteps.  

What is Honor

What is honor?  Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines honor as “respect that is given to someone who is admired; good reputation; good quality or character as judged by other people; high moral standards of behavior”. The Urban Dictionary actually gives a better definition, more along the lines of my beliefs…”The courage to do what is right, no matter what. A belief that your actions represent more than just yourself” Think about that for a moment.  “The courage to do what is right, no matter what.” 

I could go into a whole long spiel about the Celtic virtues and the various arguments about exactly what those are and why, and could go on to list various source references for each debate.  The fact simply remains that my ancestors were honorable people who had values.  Period.  The Irish word for honor is “oineach” which came from the Old Irish word “enech” meaning “face”.  “To save face” is a phrase I am sure we are all familiar with.  It was, and is, important to keep one’s dignity and respect of others by being honorable. 

The main core virtues, in my opinion, are honor, truth, loyalty, justice, courage, and hospitality.  It is also my opinion that honor encompasses all the other five virtues, as well as many more people tend to add.  To be blunt, any virtue, by way of definition of honor, is part of being honorable.  Being hospitable is an honorable act.  Being courageous is an honorable act.  Being loyal….well, here is where our problem arises. 

Honor is a very tricky thing.  One can be quite courageous, which IS an honorable act, and yet still be a dishonorable person.  Miss one of these virtues and your honor has just gone “poof”….you have lost “face”.  Loyalty seems to be the one virtue that many do not seem to grasp.  Being loyal does not mean being loyal when times are good, or when your “friend” is being applauded by the public.  I was condemned for my public display of loyalty to a friend facing some serious allegations; I was betrayed by those I trusted and shown their disloyalty to me…I do not need to name names here. Those involved know who I mean, and those not involved can still learn a lesson. 

“The courage to do what is right, no matter what.”  Really think on this phrase for a minute.  No matter what…meaning no matter the loss you may incur, no matter the ostracization you might receive, no matter what.  You do what is honorable. You must be honest and loyal, courageous and hospitable, you fight for justice and in doing all these things you are honorable.  

The Purpose of This Blog

The title of my blogspot is "My Homecoming" for a reason.  Home can be defined as many things, but to myself home is where I find the "real" Donna.  That inner part that stays consistent, no matter where this outer shell travels, or what it encounters, or how lost it can appear to be....that very core that is "me".  That is home.  I once read in a book by Frank MacEowen about a Lakota medicine man saying, "Sometimes a man has to travel to the edge of his being to find his center."  That center is what I consider to be home.  I have travelled to the edge, have dangled  my toes off quite a few times, and am slowly beginning the process of making my way back to the center, back to "home". 

As for the purpose of this blog, I am by no means deluded into thinking that my thoughts or views will in any way "change the world".  I do, however, hope to add a little insight into my take on things and in doing so, perhaps help others to see things a little differently.  And perhaps in the process shed a little light into why I think and act the way I do...though at times that scares even me.  This process of self-discovery, this journey "home", is by no means an easy process.  I have discovered things about the world and people around me, even things about myself that have made me ashamed and sad and angry.  I have also seen and experienced some of the most profound and beautiful things...glimpses of what Parthas (paradise) could be. 

I am an Irish polytheist.  Irish due to ancestry, not because I was born there. I am Irish-American by birth and Irish-Republican by choice.  Polytheist because I do believe in and honor more than one god/goddess.  There are degrees of polytheism...I am what is considered a traditional, or "hard", polytheist.  I believe the gods are just as real and separate as you and I, which they function in this world individually, and with us, and as for my pantheon that I am descended from and not "created by" them.  They are my ancestors.  As opposed to someone who is a "soft" polytheist, I do not believe the gods and goddesses are all just representations or rays of the ultimate divine.  This is important to understand as it explains why I struggle with ecclectism so much, but also why I can completely believe in the Christian god, among others.  To me, all gods are just as real as mine; I just do not honor or worship them.  Since I believe that all exist individually, it is hard for me to wrap my small mind around the concept of ecclecticism.  However, if one believes that all gods are just representations of the ultimate divine, honoring Isis and Brighid together makes sense. 

I wanted this first blog to be somewhat of a baseline, so that you the reader can understand my thought process when I begin the next blogs.  You will not find not a theological or historical classroom here on these pages.  What you will find, however, are the views of a simple woman who has walked this path a while and wants to share her views in a way that most layman can understand.  If I believed in the Maiden, Mother, Crone phases (which I actually do not), I would say spiritually I feel I am reaching the Crone stage. And as such am feeling compelled to share a little of what I have learned. Síocháin leat mo charas.